Well long time, no blog, eh?
I want to say Happy New Year, and provide an update on where things are as far as my life and my writing.
2019 was been a whirlwind of a year that began with recovering from back surgery and tinkering with the idea of going to law school. The year ended with a couple strong workouts and first semester grades that I’m really proud of.
In between, a major theme seemed to be anxiety.
I’m the type of person who tries to push myself outside of my comfort zone, but only because I know that’s how growth comes, not because I like it.
There was anxiety about studying for the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT), which was a really intimidating prospect when I began. The questions were unlike anything I’d ever seen. The logic games were a straight up nightmare at first. But I cranked away at it, and actually used tutorials on YouTube to help prepare. I didn’t do as well on the test as I would have hoped, but I did well enough.
A typical LSAT logic game.
Then there was anxiety about getting INTO a law school.
The law school admission process is something special, too. Between the LSAT, the LSAC (Law School Admission Council), and application fees, it probably cost me close to a thousand dollars just to apply to schools.
Once I was accepted to Belmont—which was honestly, one of the proudest days of my life—there was anxiety about what life would look like for my family. Would I have to keep working? How would that affect my grades? How would we pay for school? How would we pay to keep food on the table?
After most of that was figured out, there was the anxiety of school actually starting—mountains of reading, high expectations, and the dreaded law school cold calls. As the semester progressed, there were plenty of late nights, early mornings, reading on weekends, and long days in between. The struggle of keeping all the plates spinning—school, family, bills, etc.—was real, and it turned out that I wasn’t the only one feeling it.
The Randall and Sadie Baskin Center, home to Belmont University College of Law.
The year drew to an end with anxiety about grades.
See, in most law school classes, the only grades you have are your final exam, so there’s no practical way to gauge your progress. You take a bunch of 3-4 hour exams, and then wait… and wait… and wait.
At the end of the day, I did pretty well—not as well as I might have hoped, but certainly better than I had prepared myself for emotionally!—and I finally feel like I belong in law school, like I can succeed there, and that’s a big relief.
I learned two major lessons about anxiety, this year—and not all of it through dealing with it myself.
The first lesson is that a key to beating it is facing what is making you anxious. The tendency is to avoid, but that only leads to more anxiety.
The other big lesson is that there is help out there. There’s therapy, there’s medication, and there are loads of resources that can provide help.
If you or someone you love is struggling with anxiety or depression, or mental health in general, it’s okay to seek help—in fact, it could change your life forever for the better. Be brave, do the work, and don’t give up, and you might find yourself surprised by hope.
There are a lot of details that I can’t share with you just yet, but one day—with Jami’s permission—I’ll write a memoir about my first semester as a 1L that will likely be called “How the F*** Did I Survive That?”
My girls on a “tour” of campus I took them on.
Now, onto the long awaited, what about the whole, “Brandon Dragan, Author,” thing?
Good news / bad news!
We’ll start with the bad—self publishing something you’ve written is hard, takes a LOT of time, and can be expensive! The really funny thing is that the actual writing, as time-consuming as it is, doesn’t take nearly as long as the editing, the developing of cover art, etc. So I do want to apologize for promises made/broken about new releases, etc.!
Now, the GOOD NEWS!
The cover art for “The Wages of Grace”, my debut novel, is 99.8% done!!
This has been a big project that my good friend Derik Hobbs (who illustrated the cover for “Cast No Shadow”) has been graciously working on. One final round of edits, and it’ll be FINALLY ready to release!
In other news, I’ve finished another novel that’s in the early editing phases, and am working on drafting a third short story. I’m really excited about BOTH of these and can’t wait to share some details soon!
So, the next things you should expect to see from me are the cover art reveal for “The Wages of Grace,” followed by some info on when it will be available.
Thanks for anyone who cared to read this, and for all of you who have supported my work, my life, and my family. Much love. I hope 2020 is a year of healing, peace, and growth for you all.
Brandon
P.S. On a really happy note, my girls are doing great. I’ll share one of my proudest moments as a dad with you—at the end of the school year in May, they were BOTH voted for the Citizenship Award by their classmates, as the students who best represented friendship, helpfulness, and the values their school seeks to promote.